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Everything Is Workable: A Zen Approach to Conflict Resolution Paperback – December 3, 2013
Conflict is going to be part of your life—as long as you have relationships, hold down a job, or have dry cleaning to be picked up. Bracing yourself against it won’t make it go away, but if you approach it consciously, you can navigate it in a way that not only honors everyone involved but makes it a source of deep insight as well. Seasoned mediator Diane Hamilton provides the skill set you need to engage conflict with wisdom and compassion, and even—sometimes—to be grateful for it. She teaches how to:
• Cultivate the mirror-like quality of attention as your base
• Identify the three personal conflict styles and determine which one you fall into
• Recognize the three fundamental perspectives in any conflict situation and learn to inhabit each of them
• Turn conflicts in families, at work, and in every kind of interpersonal relationship into win-win situations
Full of practical exercises that can be applied to any kind of relationship, Everything Is Workable gives readers the tools they need to cultivate dynamic, vital, and effective relationships in their personal lives and at work.
- Print length240 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherShambhala
- Publication dateDecember 3, 2013
- Dimensions5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
- ISBN-101611800676
- ISBN-13978-1611800678
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Editorial Reviews
Review
—William L. Ury, co-author of Getting to Yes
“A groundbreaking, creative account of how the qualities of nonattachment, equanimity, and flexibility of mind that are cultivated in meditation practice can help inform and enliven the vial work of mediating human conflicts and misunderstandings.”
—Jan Chozen Bays, author of How to Train a Wild Elephant
“A wonderful, down-to-earth, and very useful book on conflict resolution. Read it professionally, read it as a layperson, read it for work, read it for relationships, read it for your own inner conflicts—but read it for sure, and find a genuine peace and contentment under all of your seemingly intractable conflicts.”
—Ken Wilber
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Shambhala
- Publication date : December 3, 2013
- Language : English
- Print length : 240 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1611800676
- ISBN-13 : 978-1611800678
- Item Weight : 11.4 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #469,197 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #123 in Zen Spirituality
- #991 in Interpersonal Relations (Books)
- #1,874 in Success Self-Help
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Diane Musho Hamilton combines decades of work in in conflict resolution with depth of experience in sitting meditation. She often says that “mediate” and “meditate”, share the same purpose: to bring what is divided or in dispute into harmony. In meditation, one brings disputing parties to agreement. In meditation, one brings body, speech, and mind into coherence with the environment. With extraordinary warmth, depth and insight, she encourages us to work with our differences, while discovering our fundamental unity.
Diane is an award-winning professional mediator, author, facilitator, and teacher of Zen meditation. She has been a practitioner of meditation for more than 35 years. Diane facilitates Big Mind Big Heart, a process developed to help elicit the insights of Zen in Western audiences. Diane is considered a pioneer in articulating the wisdom of an Integral Life Practice and has worked with Ken Wilber and the Integral Institute in Denver, Colorado, since 2004.
She is also the co-founder and Executive Director of Two Arrows Zen, a center for Zen practice and study in Salt Lake City and Torrey, Utah with her husband Michael Mugaku Zimmerman. She also offers trainings oriented to personal development and advanced facilitator skills. Diane is a former rodeo queen and mother to four children.
Diane is the author of Everything is Workable: A Zen Approach to Conflict Resolution (Shambhala Publications, 2013), and of The Zen of You and Me: A Guide to Getting Along with Just About Anyone (Shambhala, 2017.) Her newest book is Compassionate Conversations: How to Speak and Listen from the Heart, with co-authors Gabriel Wilson and Kimberly Loh (Shambhala, May 2020.)
She is also featured in The Hidden Lamp: Stories from Twenty-Five Centuries of Awakened Women (Wisdom Publications.)
Customer reviews
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book full of wisdom and particularly valuable for professionals working with cooperation and conflict. Moreover, the book is praised for its readability, with customers noting its 200 pages are easy to read and appreciate its beautiful writing style.
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Customers find the book enlightening and full of wisdom, particularly praising its practical guidance for professionals working with cooperation and conflict. One customer notes how it captures a career of deep study and practice, while another highlights its focus on authenticity in understanding.
"...Ms Hamilton teaches how to listen, give and receive feedback, and to be thinking "inclusive" of all humans. Personally the first 30..." Read more
"...from all three perspectives has emotional maturity, fearlessness, and insight, and such a person is a great gift." Read more
"...It certainly promotes sanity and psychological flexibility. Read it at your own risk, as it will influence your relationships, career, and health." Read more
"...It helped me to see that conflict resolution is a healthy, productive and empowering way to seek and maintain peace and spiritual health within...." Read more
Customers find the book beautiful and easy to read, with one customer noting it takes re-reading to fully understand.
"...and shows how to overcome that critical view. 200 pages that are easy to read and I am sure you will be better after you have finished the..." Read more
"This is such a rich and juicy read. I first listened to the Audible version. Diane Musho Hamiltons voice is like butter...." Read more
"...It is practical and effective. It's fluid and a joy to read. It certainly promotes sanity and psychological flexibility...." Read more
"Easy to read and understand...." Read more
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on January 19, 2014Ms Hamilton takes personal stories, life stories, and walks you through how to live a comfortable life with less conflict with yourself as well with others. She builds on a base that facing conflict is good, not to be avoided or covered up. How to be a stronger person, or happier with yourself, then move onto avoiding or resolving conflict with others by teaching principles that are basic.Ms Hamilton teaches how to listen, give and receive feedback, and to be thinking "inclusive" of all humans.
Personally the first 30 pages were a challenge for me. I thought another book with a great title but the same information as others before it. But I was rewarded for sticking with it and enjoyed the book and gained knowledge on how to see that there are others perspectives to take into account, when you think you are the one who is right and the other person is wrong.
I have chapter 17 marked to look back at it often. It is titled The Shadow In Conflict. It touched me deeply in understanding how I look at another person critically and shows how to overcome that critical view.
200 pages that are easy to read and I am sure you will be better after you have finished the book and the chapter reviews. Go buy this book.
- Reviewed in the United States on June 18, 2014Hamilton sees conflict as good news which can disrupt habitual patterns, invigorate us and bring new learning. Read this book and note which of three conflict styles you tend toward: aggression, avoidance or accommodating. In summary, if you are aggressive you can take up the practice of listening; if avoiding you can try to stay present; if you accommodate, you can risk expressing your opinion.
One of the highlights is Hamilton’s treatment of the three fundamental perspectives: I, You, and It. She points out the importance of having your own perspective with the capacity to make your requests known and setting boundaries by saying, “No.” Then she makes it clear that being able to see from another’s perspective is not at all passive but a strength that involves the art of listening and taking in the other person without necessarily agreeing with them on everything. The It perspective includes the broad implications from the past and future with a sense of neutrality. Hamilton notes that anyone who can view from all three perspectives has emotional maturity, fearlessness, and insight, and such a person is a great gift.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 30, 2024This is such a rich and juicy read. I first listened to the Audible version. Diane Musho Hamiltons voice is like butter. The content may change the way you perceive the world or at least open to the possibility. Had to buy the book for reference and to share. Highly recommend.
- Reviewed in the United States on July 30, 2014There are some books in the conflict resolution field that have impacted all disciplines, from education to politics to psychology and to business. Internationally, Getting to Yes by Fischer, Ury, and Patton and Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg are such books. These books draw people in for decades now. Everything is Workable by Diane Musho Hamilton will be one of those books too. It contains the dangerous egalitarian currents that are changing our world. It is practical and effective. It's fluid and a joy to read. It certainly promotes sanity and psychological flexibility. Read it at your own risk, as it will influence your relationships, career, and health.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 10, 2017This book changed the way I understand and approach conflict. It helped me to see that conflict resolution is a healthy, productive and empowering way to seek and maintain peace and spiritual health within. This book emboldens the conflict reticent to speak up, be brave, and say what needs to be said for the good of oneself and one's relationships - both personally and professionally. It changed my life. Read it; you will be glad you did if you have ever been the type of person who avoids conflict out of self-preservation.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 16, 2014Easy to read and understand. Practical useful book on conflict resolution; in personal inner conflict, in relationships, in business/work it touches all areas and more. You won't be sorry you took the time to read this empowering book.
- Reviewed in the United States on April 5, 2014Enjoyed the personal stories and writing style very much. Have heard about related online seminar from a friend in Salt Lake City but had no time for yet another online course. The book captures a career of deep study and practice. I'm glad Diane Musho Hamilton took the time to write this little gem, which integrates Zen wisdom with practical ways of addressing not only the inherent conflict in life but the suffering that conflict brings. Terrific for anyone studying human relations or breakdowns in their own relationships.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 22, 2015When we're looking for ways to get unstuck from one of the key things that as a society is keeping us stuck. polarized conversations, this book and our application of its contents can be a miracle worker. Diane's writing style and knowledge makes it easy to understand. Putting it into practice in our own lives is often the step that seems the most difficult. Diane's coaching and assignments at the end of each chapter makes learning to use what is in this book much less daunting. I highly recommend you take the first step by reading this encouraging book.
Top reviews from other countries
- F SmithReviewed in the United Kingdom on March 9, 2014
5.0 out of 5 stars Very valuable read
Great book, really changed my thought process and approach to conflict and provided so good practice exercises to help. I'm still a work in progress as it's difficult to override initial emotional reaction to conflict situations, but now very much aware of my own feelings and conciously trying to take different points of view and approach difficult situations differently. Will definitely be a book I refer back to and would recommend it to anyone who is looking to understand themselves and others better in conflict situations.
- GregorReviewed in Canada on October 24, 2020
5.0 out of 5 stars How do you relax and engage in the face discord?
Avoidance, accommodation or aggression are our coping styles is what we tend to do.
Expanding your options: these are coping efforts are good when they are neccesary, but they aren’t the only choices for a better way, to actually engage more fluidly, with more options and mpre skill.
Diane explains that our inner conflict with conflict is expressed by an analogy with what’s going on when conflict arises - of a crying baby on an airplane and how we react to that: who’s to blame, the sensations in the body tell you somethings wrong, and instead of reacting with a coping effort, to learn to turn into the situation that’s happening internally within.
Diane speaks to getting clear on what your side is before the side of the other AND then listening to the other side, and making the very best attempt at dropping your point so the other [erson feels completely heard (this has to work both ways). then she explains that you can be creative with one another, there is something new on the other side of mutual listening.
The book also shows that it requires both to be able to relax more, and to be available to what emerges, rather than come in with the solution you had at the beginning. We’ve all been there!
It’s a complex move to do all this. and sometimes you can set up all the conditions and hope that it can work, and this requires skill and emotional range. Even then, the best laid plans. So we have to be mindful.
This book really helps unpack this domain exceptionally well. Healthy productive conflict is really hard to do well, like a martial art, we don’t get fluid and relaxed in the wrestling (or rumbling as Brene Brown speaks to), unless we practice more, and finding a safe dojo to practice, and finding a great teacher. Diane is definetly one of those great teachers.
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FischerMReviewed in Germany on July 12, 2019
5.0 out of 5 stars Empfehlenswert
Das Buch ist sehr lesenswert.
- Manuel VillaReviewed in Spain on February 14, 2016
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting point of view
Not awasome, but reliable. It's true, everything is workable, and the way Diane Musho Hamilton suggest to deal it is an interesting option to bear in mind.
- Sara HouseReviewed in the United Kingdom on October 19, 2017
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Really wonderful book.